When I started Access Consciousness®, my main issue was really how to be. And I mean with everything and everyone.
I was so darn accomplished and likable and good at everything. And yet I was utterly confused about who I was.
When I was a kid, I was, "different." I was told I was childish, a bit weird and way too nice. And on top of that I was really good in school. In fourth grade, I was so bullied that my parents moved to another part of town, and I got to start again, at another school.
I made sure I would never be bullied again. I started to wear the in-clothes, said the 'right' things and made friends with the most liked and coolest girls in the class. I discovered that I could be really, really good at that as well — at fitting in.
My strategy was quite basic: making sure people liked me (even though I was dead sure that if they saw who I truly be, they definitely would not). I became a star chameleon!
And life went on. I very successfully used my chameleon talents everywhere I went -- at university, at work, living abroad, creating relationships. All of that. I was exactly what was desired and then a little more than that, to top it off. It worked well, according to this reality; I had a great life, an amazing resume, a nice salary, a fitting relationship and a sweet kid.
Until I just couldn't do it anymore. I was missing me and living so much that absolutely nothing made any sense any more. Something had to change or I would explode. I became an avid seeker and I tried everything under the sun to fill that empty space.
After a couple of years of different kinds of tantra, mantra, and meditations, I came into contact with Access Consciousness. (Thank you, Rosario!) And the one thing that stayed with me after the first round of classes I did was The 5 Elements of Intimacy: allowance, trust, gratitude, honor and vulnerability.
They made total sense to me. They made total sense to the strange kid I once was. Those 5 elements literally transformed my life from the day I first heard them.
They're now my beacons in living. They're with me in everything I be and do and continuously ask for. They keep expanding and deepening the possible space of being in ways I could never imagine. And if I go to judgment of anything, these elements are what I use to check what is really going on. Judgement and intimacy just cannot exist at the same time.
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